lovely&happy

Happiness: Is it as easy as a smile?

2008-07-06T18:47:00.000+08:00

Happiness: Is it as easy as a smile?

When I hear the phrase "the pursuit of happiness"—that inalienable right we celebrate on the 4th of July—I think instantly of one thing.

Sleep.

A good night's sleep—no weird dreams, no noise, no reason to get out of bed until the bloom of dawn—is the key to a happy day.

Could happiness really be that simple?
If it were, I guess, happiness wouldn't be an American obsession, its pursuit seeded into our national identity by the Declaration of Independence; its dimensions dissected by professors in the booming field of "happiness studies"; its acquisition peddled by self-help gurus who claim the power to help us complete the chase.

And apparently—based on the number of books, studies and newspaper stories on the topic—one thing that makes us happy is thinking about happiness.

A few days ago I saw Kat, one of my favorite baristas, leaning against an outdoor wall of the coffeehouse where she works. She was reading the Dalai Lama's best seller, "The Art of Happiness."

I asked if reading the book made her happy. It did, she said, and it offered some good advice. Such as: Smile. If you believe you're happy, you'll be happy.

So now when people ask Kat how she's doing she doesn't just say, "Good." She says, "Great." That rhetorical shift, she says, has boosted her confidence.

Could happiness really be that simple?

Not according to the happiness surveys that issue from academia as routinely as conflicting studies on vitamins.

There's the study that says we each have a genetic happiness set-point to which we return regardless of circumstance. I'm fond of that one; it helps explain my mother's supernatural good cheer.

I also like the survey that says people in sunny California are no happier overall than warmth-starved Chicagoans. We make up for our weather deficits with the happiness that comes from strong connections to city, family, history.

Other surveys tell us that happiness varies from era to era, life phase to life phase.

Old age, according to a recent University of Chicago study, is a happier time than youth. That's nice, but I was depressed by the finding that midlife tends to be a bummer.

Here's another recent study, from the University of Michigan: In a "happiness and life satisfaction" survey of 97 countries, Americans ranked a respectable 16th.

We may be less happy than Danes, Canadians and Colombians, but we have more joie de vivre than almost everybody else, including the French.

Happiness, according to that study, is rooted in peace, freedom and social tolerance. Money helps.

But other research emphasizes that wealth can make individuals and nations unhappy.

The more we have, the more we want, and the more we're willing to sacrifice health and relationships to get it.

In one recent poll, Americans reported that they're unhappier than they have been in 15 years.

Then there's the theory that gloomy happiness reports convince us we're miserable.

Talking about happiness as a matter of polls and studies makes it sound complex. But ask people what makes them happy and their answers aren't complicated.

"Summertime," said Laura, when I quizzed a couple more of my favorite baristas.

"My pineapple upside-down cake," said Abby. "Especially when it gives me trouble when I'm making it and then it turns out good."

"Comedy," said Kat, "because I'm good at it."

A beautiful day. Something that turns out better than you expected, instead of worse. Doing what you do well.

Some days, the pursuit seems pretty simple, especially when you've had some sleep.

Source: Happiness: Is it as simple as a smile? (July 4, 2008), Mary Schmich.

Fishing

2008-07-06T18:46:00.001+08:00

A man was fishing by the docks.

A fine young gentleman in crisp pin stripped suit walks up to the man and inquired politely, “what are you doing dear sir?”

“I am fishing of course.” The man replied.

“And why do you fish?” the fine young gentleman pressed on.

“Because I enjoy catching fishes, so that’s what I do.

“That is such a waste of time! You can turn your hobby into a money making venture. You can cast a net and catch more fishes”

“And what do I do with more fishes?” the man asked.

“Well you could sell them for a profit and use the money to buy trawlers to catch even more fishes.” The fine young gentleman replied rather impatiently.

“And what do I do with more fishes?” the man asked coolly.

“You sell them for even greater profits, buy over a fishing fleet and start your own company” the fine young gentleman said with a hint of annoyance.

Again the man asked, “And what do I do then?”

“Well, with all that money in the world, you don’t have to work any more and you can do anything you like”

“Like fishing?” The man asked.

“Like fishing.” The fine young gentleman replied

“Then,” the man said with a warm smile, “I have not wasted my time.”

From a Note on facebook.

"We talk about the perfect day"

2008-07-06T18:44:00.002+08:00

What if you had one day perfectly healthy, I asked? What would you do?

"Twenty-four hours?"

Twenty-four hours.

"Let's see... I'd get up in the morning, do my exercises, have a lovely breakfast of sweet rolls and tea, go for a swim, then have my friends come over for a nice lunch. I'd have them come one or two at a time so we could talk about their families, their issues, talk about how much we mean to each other.

"Then I'd like to go for a walk, in a garden with some trees, watch their colours, watch the birds, take in the nature that I haven't seen in so long now.

"In the evening, we'd all go together to a restaurant with some great pasta, maybe some duck --I love duck-- and then we'd dance the rest of the night. I'd dance with all the wonderful dance partners out there, until I was exhausted. And then I'd go home and have a deep, wonderful sleep."

That's it?

"That's it."

It was so simple. So average. I was actually a little disappointed. I figured he'd fly to Italy or have lunch with the President or romp on the seashore or try every exotic thing he could think of. After all these months, lying there, unable to move a leg or a foot -- how could he find perfection in such an average day?

Then I realised this was the whole point.

Modified from: Tuesdays with Morrie (pp 175-6), Mitch Albom.

Let's be happy

2008-07-06T18:44:00.001+08:00

And so it begins, my pursuit of happiness, online.